He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
