Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
