i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
NoShamevember. You game?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
