I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
