She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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