I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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