You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
