I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
