they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
