I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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