dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
