I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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