Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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