I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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