you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
