I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
