I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
