I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
