Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
