Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
