Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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