So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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