i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
