I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
