I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
