my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
