Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
