Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
only you would photoshop your dick
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
