i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
