It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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