It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
