That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
