ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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