Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
