I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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