I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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