it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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