week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
