i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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