But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
