Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
