I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
