whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He uses pillows to masturbate.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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