Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
