don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
time to smoke my breakfast
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Shame - the story of my life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
