If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
