WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
where am i from again
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
