took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
