so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
