And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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